Week of CLOCKWORK PRINCESS: A Survival Guide to CLOCKWORK PRINCESS
CLOCKWORK PRINCESS SURVIVAL GUIDE
by Alyssa and Megan
Tumblr = NO. It is notorious for spoiling books!
An endless supply of tissues, obviously. Though somehow it still won’t be enough
A stuffed animal to cling to for dear life. But be careful, you don’t want to accidentally rip off a limb if you get angry with the book. No real animals as they will suffer as you suffer.
Aspirin or ibuprofen. For Headaches and heartaches, only set aside a FEW pills of asprin then hide the bottle. NO OD’ing!
Eye drops. Because your crying eyes won’t make it 592 pages without them
No need for make-up. It’s a waste of good reading time and it will only make the end result worse. If you do happen to be in public remember three words: Water Proof Mascara.
Hide all sharp objects prior to reading. No need to chance things. Trust us. It’s not worth it!
Hide your phones before reading. No ruining the book for others no matter what. We mean it! Turn it all the way off! No Twitter, no text, no calls.
Don’t read near windows. As much as you will want to throw the book out the window, you will want to read it again.
Keep a charger for your e-reader close by. Imagine your OTP is going in for the kiss and your e-reader shuts off. You absolutely cannot chance your e-reader dying during any point in this book.
Caffeine to stay awake. You probably won’t need it with this book, but what the hell?
Do not disturb sign. There is no need for the mundanes to see what is going on in your room as you’re reading. THEY WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND.
Reading music. If outside forces distract you easily. Make a playlist of music (like soundtracks) to keep you focused this can also give you a good sound for the action in the book.
Comfortable black clothes. Because Shadowhunters look better in black even when they are crying hysterically.
Snacks. Meals are not an option, but you can’t starve yourself (that comes later!) make sure you keep snacks nearby to keep your energy up.
A Tale of Two Cities. Because why the hell not?! Oh, the Will Herondale feels.
Google translate for all those confusing Latin, Welsh, Chinese and other phrases that pop up. Some of those phrases will be important. You will want to know what they mean.
Alcohol. To drown out your sorrows during and after reading. If you don’t drink, try ice cream. Skip the bowl. Eat right out of the carton.
Chocolate. For those underage and not. Lots of chocolate!
Iratze. Apply over the heart liberally. There will be plenty of healing needed.
Bucket for your tears. Remember this is where Cassandra Clare gets her power for writing. Collect your tears and ship them off to Cassie as a thank you gift.
Physical copy of Clockwork Princess. You’ll need it to read the family tree when you’ve finished the book once your sobbing has subsided a little.
Phone book. For your nearest therapist and/or mental institution where you might meet some local fans you didn’t know were in your area. Group therapy, anyone?
A shoulder to cry on. Clockwork Princess is not something to experience alone you will need to talk to someone about the feels you are going through
Make a reading plan. Know who to contact and what to say to that person when finished reading. Keep in mind that person MAY NOT have finished the book in such cases Bite a pillow until they have notified you of their completion
Do not operate a motor vehicle as emotional trauma as result of Clockwork Princess may result in physical damage to you and/or others
Paper bag. In case of hyperventilation. We can’t have anyone passing out and missing hours of good reading time!
Sunglasses. In case you plan on going out in public after completion of Clockwork Princess. The mundanes, again, WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND.
Tumblr = After. This is where you will find the most support, but be courteous to others and tag all of your posts as Clockwork Princess spoilers, as well as “read more” for those that did not take our previous warning about avoiding Tumblr.
The Mortal Instruments. To fill the void and repeat this process just in time for City of Heavenly Fire in March 2014.
With this survival guide we aim to help better your reading experience. Though we are not responsible for any tears, heartbreak and pain that will come from reading Clockwork Princess. That’s all Cassandra Clare.
Remember to send those buckets of tears. Just remember that all of us at TMI Source will be suffering along with you.
Ave Atque Vale and we’ll see you on the other side.
TMI Source 
XD Funny, but it also may be true. o.o I’m so nervous for this book to come out.
Im one of those people who like to be prepared and I was expecting my heart stop few times, like when Jem was proposing and I was siting on edge of bed, whispering to Will :”c’mon man find her , now, before its to late “and when she did say “YES ” I felt pain real, phisical pain in my chest .But you make it sound like it was nothing compare to what I will expirience in CP2 probably multiple times ! So THANK YOU 🙂 I will :dubble my stocks of tissues ,hold my guard higher to shield my poor heart and buy some glue in case it will shred to pieces. xxx
ohhh god now i even more terrified!!!!!S
Wow, this last books sound like an emotional roller coaster, but sounds more like depression and heartache than any good news at all. That’s a bit of a spoiler with the fear of never reading another love story by Cassie. I’ve waited this long, o wth!! Anyone feeling super nervous with jitters as well?!
Hilarious! And Google Translate really does help! I use it constantly! And remember: basia coquum!
Reblogged this on The Book Owl and commented:
I am starting to freak out…
funny but true in parts ! okay, imay goigng to be reading two books at the same time! cp2 and something for my english class
why does there have to be tears :((((((((((((
“Comfortable black clothes. Because Shadowhunters look better in black even when they are crying hysterically.” hahha
I’m so scared OMG I’ll just lock myself in my room, read the whole thing in like 2 days then cry for 2 weeks. Cassie will kill us all! 😦
I was laughing so hard at this, but I think it actually will help. Miraculously, I have not yet come across any spoilers on Tumblr, but I don’t think I should chance it. (It will be hard to go without, though).
I am definitely going to be staying up ALL night reading this, so im gonna be preparing myself buckets full of coffee lol. Or maybe ill just make my mom stay up all night to keep em comin 😀
I got my copies pre-ordered! I am also doing a giveaway for a signed copy of clockwork angel. enter here —->http://bit.ly/YcvpMk
Oh, the Ebook advice might be a good idea!!
I’m glad that I pre-ordered it. I think I will be looking down at my screen at exactly 12:00:00 am, staying up all night to finish all of it.
And I’ll be telling my best friend the biggest spoiler I’ll ever be able to give 😦
I am so freaking out right now. AND, I have to wait 5 EXTRA DAYS to read the book!!!!! The extra wait is killing me!!!!!
Reblogged this on Only by the Night and commented:
Also relevant for : series finale, season finales, most YA book series I follow
Reblogged this on Moods and commented:
I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW
This is scaring me. why oh why does there have to be years shredded. I’m flipping out that its coming in a few days but its taking too long too come.
Lol Cassie, this all sounds super helpful!
When CP2 came out I locked myself in my room with starbucks and pulled an all nighter reading it with my sis. I am seriously gonna need to go get more tissues…..
On Tuesday I don’t think I will even want to go to school, I will probably just be reading all day. sadly I will have to go to school and I will probaby be crying right in the middle of class
OMG!!!! i can see myself bawling and crying and screaming at people to go away from me and tell them to let me read cp2 in peace. i also see that tomorrow i will be finishing off all the tissues i have at my house and in the supermarket.